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life story at www.bydesigncommerce.net
Email: ScottLongtin@Hughes.net

11/26/07 4:31pm
I just did the ritual when something goes very wrong� �smoked five cigarettes, I� �m on my second beefeater Johnny Black Label, and I dropped 20mg of valium� �standard operating procedure. The edge is just now 15-40 minutes from calming down a bit. I exceeded what I could handle; a problem much too common for those that ride the lightning of the manic side of things. All I did was fry the CPU on an old PC. I bought a motherboard too; just in case, so about $150. The amount doesn� �t bother me, nor the fact that it was my mother� �s PC� �it� �s the fact that I FAILED.
Failure is not an option. I strive for perfection in everything except my personal affairs, unfortunately. I� �m not irresponsible; I� �m just riding a storm that demands brilliance from my work. Brilliance in everything I do and a pat on the back or � �way to go� �; just something to let me know I did it. I don� �t do small things, everything is bigger, better, faster, smarter, more inventive. The ideas don� �t come to me like they did three months ago when there were literally 50 good, patentable, or artistic ideas hitting me every day. In three weeks, I wrote four chapters and 16000 words for my first novel, and 300 pages of written inventions, articles, and everything else.
It� �s dropped continually until about a month ago when it planed off. Now I hit maybe 1-10 ideas a day; one good one for sure. If I leave the house, I may hit 20, but that� �s about it now because I only leave the house to buy Pall Malls. The ideas aren� �t crap either, since my family members are supporting my activities. Actually, others seem to feel the same way about many of my projects, so some of it must be good after all.
The good news is I� �m alive. The better news is I� �ve hit that high that people dream of capturing, if only for a brief moment. Mine is on 22 hours a day. I sleep or think the other two. I start businesses in my sleeping hours; vast empires of internet savvy. I write books (first out this coming spring), publish articles; I stay focused 98% of the time. That� �s me in a psychotic episode venting. I� �ll finish the article later when I� �m back.

11/26/07 5:17pm
YES I� �m back. I originally wanted to start this article with the science, but Latent Inhibition and a deep manic state opened the door when the PC crapped out. I� �m fine now; it happens.
I am not going to dive into my life story, since that will be coming out in chapter form. The details of which consist of bipolar with acute anxiety, periods of schizophrenia, and periods of psychosis. That� �s the very bad news. The good news is that my life story changed for the better at the end of a shotgun 3 months ago. NO, I didn� �t pull the trigger; interrupted to be exact. But that event on September 1st, awoke something in me� �something wonderful. I now operate 100% of the time in an elevated manic state. My IQ is above average and I have low levels of latent inhibition which are all key aspects for developing creativity or creative genius; as well as madness! Do a quick Wikipedia on latent inhibition and you� �ll see where I� �m coming from. Here� �s an excerpt: � �Most people are able to shut out the constant stream of incoming stimuli, but those with low latent inhibition cannot. It is hypothesized that a low level of latent inhibition, or LLI, can cause either psychosis or a high level of creativity, which is usually dependent on the subjects intelligence.� � (Wikipedia, 2007 Latent Inhibition) This is science that� �s been around since the 50� �s, mostly on animals, but now is being studied on us; maybe on me. I� �d like to share my whole story with you and will be publishing many more articles to get the so called demons out of my head.